Win or Lose....

Whether you win or lose, it is how you play the game.  Well congratulations is in order to all of the Gentle East competitors who played the game yesterday at the Maryland East Coast Open Taekwondo Championship!

 I was proud to be there with all of my Gentle East family, and realized how lucky we are to have instructors who are involved not only in teaching us the sport, but in making these tournaments what they are.  Master Holloway led and supported all of the referees all day long, and managed to be at every ring that one of his students was competing in.  Master McDermott along with serving as treasurer for the Maryland State Taekwondo Association, was everywhere, all day long, helping everybody from coaching to computer scoring.  And Master Schoenbrun serving as secretary for MSTA refereed all day long and managed to support her students in all of their competitions.

 Jonathan and I, and many of our classmates from the YMCA and Gentle East in Silver Spring competed in forms, team forms, board breaking and sparring and there were a lot of trophies going home at the end of the day.  And in some cases there weren't.  And still we played the game and were better for it.  As Master Joe said during opening ceremonies, "do your best and forget the rest".  And we did.  Part of the accomplishment was just being there, having the courage to compete at all, to put ourselves out there and be part of the game.

Great job everyone!

From Gentle East YMCA
Back row from left to right - Leora, Dana, Nichole, Laura
Bottom row from left to right - Jonathan, Riley, Annabelle

Addicted

I picked sports as my drug.  It hit me this morning in the shower as I ruminated over Master Holloway's "take a Valium and do it again" comment.  From a really early age I picked sports as my drug to either numb me up or jazz me up when I was down.  The focus of sports kept me alive, it is part of my identity and my spirit soars there.  So it is not an illegal drug but it is just as powerful, just as addictive.  Is it a healthy drug?  This is the dilemma in my mind today as I write.

When I am high on sports (my drug) it can help me perform when I need that crazy extra power and drive ie; board breaking or sparring.  When I am high on my drug and then I have to slow down and focus I find it difficult.  I am tired, off balance not breathing, no help when you are performing Won-yo for the 86th time.  Can I make my drug work for me in all areas?  Can I learn to focus my high so that all the positive effects come together for a more peak performance?  Probably.  Is being high on this drug bad?

We are our own worst judge.  The part that is unhealthy is using it as an escape, to make me feel different because I don't want to feel the way I feel.  Rather than just facing the fear or the feeling and moving through it, I like taking my drug because it makes me feel powerful and joyous again.  There have been weeks when I just wait until the next day that I can get my fix, craving it, and not wanting to be where I am.  But where I am is all I have, so this is the bad part.  Not recognizing that in the moment and being okay with being present, even if I am sad, bored, angry, empty or unhappy.  Being addicted to elation is what I have been accused of.  Isn't everyone?  Aren't we all looking for the next happiness moment?

What if every moment was perfect how it is, even the crappy ones?  Would the idea be to just be aware of it and smile anyway?  I will keep this drug for now, and break a few good boards in the mean time.